When you are supporting someone on their recovery journey, your words and actions can make all the difference. People struggling with substance use disorder are often carrying a heavy emotional burden from regret, shame, self-doubt, and fear.
The wrong thing said at the wrong time can damage trust, while the right words can offer unwavering support and hope. As a family member or friend, your voice is a powerful influence in their recovery process.
This guide offers compassionate strategies for supporting a loved one on their recovery journey, with a focus on choosing the right words, and knowing what to avoid, when speaking to someone struggling with addiction.
Understanding Addiction and Recovery
Substance use disorder, encompassing drug addiction and alcohol use disorder, is a chronic condition affecting millions, as defined by the National Institute on Drug Abuse. It involves the compulsive use of drugs or alcohol despite the harmful consequences.
Many people fail to understand that substance abuse and alcohol addiction are not moral failings but medical conditions that require professional help, such as addiction treatment and treatment programs.
The recovery journey is a lifelong process of healing and growth that involves rebuilding mental health and coping skills alongside abstaining from drug and alcohol use. It is essential to create a supportive environment, as recovery is a highly emotionally taxing process.
What to Say to Someone Struggling With Addiction
The words you say can make a significant difference to individuals struggling with alcohol and drug addiction, since the outside world is cruel to them. The following phrases are usually helpful during the substance abuse recovery journey:
“I’m Here for You, No Matter What”
This simple expression of unconditional support can be life-changing. Letting someone in rehab or just starting addiction treatment know you’re a consistent presence helps a loved one combat feelings of isolation.
“You Are Not Alone in This”
Remind them that addiction is a disease, not a moral failure. Mention resources such as the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, support groups, or family counseling. Reinforce that many others have walked this path and found their way to a substance-free life.
“I’m Proud of How Far You’ve Come”
Recovery is hard work, so celebrate milestones, such as 30 days sober or completing a treatment program. Whether your loved one is attending an addiction treatment center or actively building healthy habits, acknowledging their efforts motivates continued growth and progress.
“How Can I Support You?”
Instead of assuming what they need, ask directly how you could be of help. This effort shows respect for their preferred treatment plan and encourages open communication.
“Would You Like Help Finding a Treatment Program?”
If your loved one hasn’t started treatment yet, don’t pressurize or threaten them into it. Bring up treatment options like alcohol treatment in Massachusetts or treatment facilities that align with their needs and insurance coverage.
“Let’s Take It One Day at a Time”
Encouraging a family member to focus on today helps them deal with the stress and anxiety triggered by thinking about what the future holds. This phrase aligns with common teachings in addiction recovery to ease overwhelming addiction.
What Not to Say to Someone in Addiction Treatment
People struggling with substance abuse tend to have a fragile state of mental health. A few careless words can unknowingly undo all the efforts they’ve put into improving their well-being. Below is a list of the wrong things to say:
“Why Can’t You Just Stop?”
Addiction isn’t about willpower. Saying this dismisses the reality of substance and alcohol abuse and can make your loved one feel blamed. Instead, encourage your loved one to seek professional help.
“I Know How You Feel”
Unless you’ve battled drug and alcohol use personally, this statement can come off as dismissive. You could try saying something like, “I cant imagine how hard this must be for you, but I’m here to listen.”
“Didn’t You Learn Your Lesson Already?”
Bringing up past struggles during vulnerable moments is not helpful. The recovery journey is non-linear, and relapses can happen. Shaming them could lead to withdrawal, secrecy, or even returning to harmful behaviors.
“You Were So Much Fun When You Drank”
Statements like this romanticize alcohol misuse and invalidate your loved one’s decision to choose sobriety. Try focusing on the positive changes you have noticed since they started their recovery journey.
“You’re Overreacting”
People in early recovery usually experience heightened emotions. Dismissing their feelings undermines a person’s recovery efforts to overcome addiction.
How to Provide Support Without Overstepping
Balancing the need to help your loved one struggling with alcohol abuse or drug use can be very challenging. Your intentions may stem from love, but they could exacerbate the problem.
To provide practical support:
1.) Establish Healthy Boundaries
It is easy to center your life around a loved one during their recovery process, often at the expense of your well-being. Setting healthy boundaries ensures you don’t enable harmful behaviors while also retaining your individuality.
2.) Stay Involved in Their Recovery Journey
Family support plays a crucial role in alcohol addiction recovery. Most treatment centers provide families with a therapeutic environment for healing and rebuilding relationships destroyed by addiction.
Attend family therapy sessions with other family members to support a loved one’s healing process. Family counseling provides a safe space for emotional expression, active listening, and understanding, free from judgment.
3.) Create a Sober, Safe Space
Help a family member design a home that supports a drug and alcohol-free life by removing triggers and encouraging new hobbies that contribute to a healthy lifestyle.
4.) Take Care of Yourself, Too
Supporting a family member struggling with addiction is rewarding, but it’s also emotionally draining. Prioritize self-care so you can continue to provide emotional support without burning out.
Finding Hope Through Compassion
The right words can encourage someone in rehab to stay in treatment and rebuild their confidence. Express your compassion by writing letters stating your pride in their courage to remain committed to a recovery program.
If you’re unsure how to help, encourage a loved one to explore treatment options, seek intervention support services, or connect with a support group.